Free Ebook , by Jeremy Kossen Mark Baer
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, by Jeremy Kossen Mark Baer
Free Ebook , by Jeremy Kossen Mark Baer
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Product details
File Size: 2733 KB
Print Length: 256 pages
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Publisher: Moguly Media LLC (February 7, 2016)
Publication Date: February 7, 2016
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01BK8YSRQ
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#919,786 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I found this book incredibly helpful in terms of helping parents think through the potential ramifications on their children in a divorce, and ways they can mediate some of the stress, by establishing their children's best interests first, and keeping them in mind as they negotiate with the other parent, and also by hiring other, non-legal and non-therapeutic professionals like divorce coaches to act as objective, advocates for them and their children. Too often, it seems like lawyers have a vested interest in letting contentious divorces drag on, whereas coaches and mediators can help warring parties come more quickly to reasonable solutions that everyone can live with. I found the chapter on Guilt-free parenting, and parenting teens particularly reassuring, especially as the authors are both the products of divorced backgrounds and blended families themselves, and I liked the question and answer format of the book, and the helpful list of resources at the end of each chapter,This book is essential reading for anyone with children who is contemplating divorce, and who needs a guidebook on what they need to think about, and who to turn to, at a time when they might otherwise feel lost and in desperate need of support.
I practiced family law for 35 years and retired as a Magistrate Judge in Domestic Relations Court. It was heartbreaking to witness the devastation to children when parents could not agree with each other or prioritize their children. Putting Kids First makes clear that it is essential to prioritize the needs of kids no matter how much the divorcing couple disagrees on any other matters. I think the single greatest contribution to this change is expanding the support in the family law system to include professionals other than lawyers, who sometimes are too single-minded about what they perceive to be their clients interests. In particular, the role of the divorce coach can be essential for those needing non-legal non-therapeutic support that is both practical and timely. You do not need to be a lawyer or a therapist to help people understand the impact of their mindset now upon their children's future. The idea that we can support people in divorce, through coaching, gives me great hope that the individuals experiencing divorce and their children will be well-served. Surely, the other professionals play an important role but having an objective person stand beside you as you make decisions that will impact you and your children for life is a game changer. I recommend that individuals in divorce read this book and find a coach who is a good fit for you.
I turned to “Putting Kids First in Divorce†when friends were in the midst of an anguishing divorce. Despite their loving, caring, rationale approach to parenting, the rupture within their family was, predictably, profound. For young children, especially, family—whether legally in tact or not—is a primary source of identity, trust and confidence. The contributors to this book make a solid case for seeking qualified professionals, such as mediators, psychologist and divorce coaches, whose expertise can lead divorcing couples to keep their children’s well-being the center of their focus.
I am a divorce attorney and I read this book to help me guide my clients and to confirm that it is something to recommend to them. The book starts with a discussion of how the way you approach your divorce can have a big impact in the outcome. While I would make a lot more money if I litigated cases constantly, I treat litigation as a last resort. To me the majority of couples are able to come to agreements regarding their divorce if they have a mediator involved or sometimes just attorneys on both sides of the case who are geared towards settlement and not so much towards maximizing the payout for the client.Parents who have already decided to approach their divorce through mediation may choose to skip to chapter 3 but the first two chapters can still serve as a helpful reminder of why they are focused on a resolution outside of court. The book then moves into the psychology of co-parenting and the various ways that the approach taken by parents can significantly impact the amount of harm that children experience in the process. I quite like how the various mediators and other professionals interviewed in the book discuss that they no longer believe that it is as simple as saying that every divorce harms children, but that sometimes a careful approach to the process can make it so positive that it is better than subjecting the children to parents who fight all the time. Many of the professionals interviewed in the book consider this alternative approach to involve a mediator or a divorce coach. I often refer my clients to mediators and I think this is usually a good step when children are involved. The chapters feel like reading the transcript from a podcast, which I like because it maintains that personal feel.Later chapters address a number practical tips. Suggestions range from the big picture approach to the the divorce process to the boundaries that are important between the two parents and the things you should and shouldn't say to your children through the process. Each of these has examples so that can be immediately applied. Some chapters explain just how you might speak to the children about what led to the breakdown of the relationship without sharing adult issues with them. Overall, one theme I see in all the chapters is the importance of recognizing that once you are going through divorce it is not appropriate to attack the other parent but that providing the most positive environment for the children is your highest priority. Chapter 8 makes a great handbook for discussing big issues with your children while keeping everything positive.I also appreciate Chapter 9's inclusion and the recognition that some people reading this book may be considering divorce but not yet so fully decided that they have given up all hope. Though some of the tips provided in Chapter 9 may not be able to help a couple that is beyond repair, reading through those ideas can help increase the chances of the next relationship avoiding the same pitfalls.I have already recommended the book to one of my clients and I expect I will regularly continue to do so going forward as I work with clients who have children. Even those who enter into the divorce with the best of intentions may not be aware of the damage they can do by off-the-cuff remarks or subtle suggestions that they still blame the other parent for all of the problems.
As one of the caring contributors to the new book, Putting Kids First in Divorce, Mark Baer, Esq. shines a light on one of the most crucial aspects of divorce for parents: replacing litigation with collaboration or mediation. A former litigator himself, Baer speaks from the heart about the consequences of putting your family's future in the hands of the court when mediation or Collaborative Divorce reaps a healthier, more child-centered outcome that truly puts kids first! This book is a must-read for any parents who want to protect their children during and long after the divorce!Rosalind Sedacca, C​LC​​Founder, Child-Centered Divorce​ Network​Author: How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce?
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